What are you speaking of, do you ask? Do you have a hunch? Our family is growing! We are adopting again, this time around through DSS (Department of Social Services). We don't care if the child is red or yellow, black or white. We are looking to adopt a child (or two, yes, you heard me right, we are open to a sibling group) who is three years old or younger. I'm not exactly sure how to track our progress as this is our first time adopting through DSS (Z and Hb were private adoptions) and they are fairly vague in giving out time expectancies. Right now we are in the process of getting our homestudy completed. A homestudy is basically when a licensed social worker comes to your home to interview you and make sure you are capable of adopting children. Cross your fingers! Just kidding. We had our first of two meetings yesterday and the second is on Thursday morning. We are excited! I'm thinking our homestudy MIGHT be completed in as little as three weeks and after that the waiting begins. By "waiting", I mean waiting for a placement...waiting for our child to come home!
Writing about it helps it feel real. I felt this same way with Z and Hb's adoptions, that sometimes it doesn't feel like something big is really getting ready to happen. Let me preface these next statements. I don't know what it feels like to carry a child in my womb, but it seems we mommies might can find some common ground on this subject. With a pregnancy I would imagine there is an unknown expectancy, but your tummy is growing showing you a physical manifestation that something is indeed growing inside you. With adoption, there also is this "is this really going to happen?" feeling until the day you see your child face to face. It's a surreal experience. We both share the expectancy that someone is being handcrafted for our family, whether that someone is inside or outside of us. Our children are both hand knit for us in a mother's womb. They are both uniquely designed for family, they just come home in different ways.
It's so much bigger than me and boggles my mind. Father is hand-stitching more pieces into our family quilt. He has patched us together and has made us into a beautiful covering. He is at it again and I am filled with anticipation to see what these next additions will look like, what will they add, how will they challenge us? Anticipation. That is the word we are living right now. It's a word I think all mommies can relate with, no matter how your babies came home...through the tummy or through the heart.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
Yet still miraculously my own
Never forget for a single minute
You didn't grow under my heart
But in it.